Crossing Swords
Overview
Patrick, an earnest aspiring hero, finally secures his dream role as a squire, but quickly discovers the royal castle is a chaotic realm filled with scandalous royals, shady characters, and tricksters. Amidst a backdrop of war, betrayal, and unexpected nudity, this colorful cast of peg people navigates a world far more thrilling than Patrick ever imagined. The blend of humor and absurdity paints a vivid picture of life in a medieval kingdom, where ambition meets outrageous antics.
Episodes
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1
Pilot
Ambitious young Patrick aspires to become a knight, eager to uphold justice against wrongdoers. His noble intentions are fueled by a sense of guilt, ...
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2
Hot Tub Death Machine
Patrick is eager to embark on his new role as a squire, but his enthusiasm is short-lived when he is tasked with selecting an individual for execution...
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3
What’s Kraken?
When Patrick scores highly coveted tickets to a Kraken watching cruise for his parents, he sees an opportunity to impress his hard-to-please father. T...
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4
In the Line of Squire
Amid a wave of shocking assassinations troubling the kingdom, the spirited and rebellious Princess Blossom comes back from her studies to participate ...
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5
Let Them Eat Clown
Patrick eagerly anticipates accompanying King Merriman to a charity golf retreat, only to discover it’s the Chill Society—a wild annual gathering...
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6
My Super Sweet Period Party
Patrick, the lone uncut squire in his group, is devastated to find out he must have a circumcision to retain his position. Simultaneously, Blossom is...
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7
Look Who’s Stalking
Frustrated by a series of disastrous investments that have left the kingdom in financial ruin, King Merriman discards a handful of “magic beans.”...
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8
The Snow Job
As a lethal plague ravages the Kingdom, Patrick joins the royal family for a retreat to a remote ski lodge in the north. While they reach safety, Pat...
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9
The A-Moooo-Zing Race
The villainous assassin has kidnapped Princess Blossom, leaving her trapped in a labyrinth guarded by a fearsome Minotaur. With the threat of their da...
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10
Unchained Monarchy
After rescuing Princess Blossom, Patrick arrives back at the castle, only to discover it besieged. The treacherous minotaur maze was merely a compone...
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1
Shamrock Shakedown
Patrick stands trial for treason against the kingdom and narrowly escapes dire consequences by making a desperate pledge to the king: he will seek ou...
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2
Toxic Femininity
A dangerous drug crisis at Blossom's all-girls academy jeopardizes the king and queen's plan to showcase their newfound riches. To safeguard Blossom a...
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3
Destination: Wedding
The highly anticipated wedding presents Merriman with an opportunity to reconcile with King Rami IV, as his son is set to marry the squire, Holden. Ho...
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4
Good Vibrations
After Queen Tulip falls into a coma caused by a malfunctioning sex toy, King Merriman organizes a beauty contest to find a new partner. Meanwhile, Pa...
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5
Get Your Minchachas Out
During a training retreat on a remote island, Patrick and the squires encounter the kingdom's most renowned knight, but Patrick swiftly dismisses the...
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6
Tent Pitching
The arrival of the circus brings excitement to the kingdom, much to the king’s enjoyment. Blarney joyfully reconnects with his snobbish classmates ...
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7
Nothin, Usurp With U?
The kingdom adjusts to life under its new (old) king, the Old King, who is back on the throne thanks to Danielle’s machinations. Patrick is torn bet...
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8
Sad-iator
Patrick faces a harsh penalty for his defiance against King Merriman, sentenced to battle as a gladiator in the arena. Meanwhile, Merriman discovers a...
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9
Knight of the F**king Dead
Merriman and Tulip return just in time for the festive Hallowtide celebration. Patrick is assigned the responsibility of supervising Princess Blossom...
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10
Hard Day’s Knight
After the kingdom exhausts the jewel mines beneath the surface, the Mole People revolt against the surface-dwellers who have devastated their habitat....
