Pink Collar Crimes
Overview
Pink Collar Crimes delves into the astonishing and frequently outrageous true tales of unlikely female criminals. From PTA moms to socialite chairwomen, these women defy expectations as they embark on risky schemes, amassing significant fortunes before facing the consequences of their actions. The show vividly explores their motivations and the absurdity of their choices, highlighting the complexities behind these seemingly ordinary lives turned extraordinary. Each episode serves as a reminder that crime can wear a familiar face, revealing the darker side of seemingly respectable society.
Episodes
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1
Pilot
Title: Pilot Plot: Laid-back jingle composer Charlie Harper finds his easygoing life upended when his rigid brother and his young son, just ten years...
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1
Minivan Mom Bank Robber
Desperate for cash, a suburban mother with a busy schedule takes a daring step and robs a bank, all while driving her charming red minivan. Balancing...
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2
Big Flappy Bastards
Ignoring Charlie's advice, Jake persists in feeding the seagulls from the deck, leading to a chaotic invasion of the house by the birds. At the same t...
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2
Jackpot Jackie
Jackie, a financial advisor known for her extravagant lifestyle, finds herself in deep trouble when her friends and relatives discover that she has b...
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3
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Title: Travel East on Sunset Until You Arrive at the Gates of Hell Plot: After falling ill, Jake yearns to return to his mother, which leads Alan to ...
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3
The Psychic Didn’t See Him Coming
Bob Nygaard, a private investigator dubbed “the psychic crime fighter,” sets his sights on a fortune-telling scam artist he suspects is conning h...
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4
The She-Wolf of Wall Street
At just 25, Jamila Davis balanced life as a single mother of two while thriving as a prominent real estate investor connected to the hip-hop scene. H...
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4
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
When Charlie's housekeeper quits in frustration over Alan's endless grievances, Charlie finds himself struggling to cope without her. In a bid to win ...
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5
The Crappy Accountant
For seven years, Lizzie Mulder masqueraded as an accountant through her fake tax consulting firm, duping unsuspecting clients into handing over their ...
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5
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Title: The Unforeseen Consequences of Soccer Moms Plot: Alan and Charlie find themselves in amusing situations with a group of irresistibly flirtat...
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6
The Queen of Coupons
In Phoenix, stay-at-home mom Robin Ramirez elevated extreme couponing to unprecedented heights by masterminding the biggest and most profitable count...
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6
Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
The guys visit Evelyn’s place to meet her new boyfriend, but Charlie is taken aback when he discovers that the man’s daughter is someone he has be...
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7
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Title: If They Choose Any Path, It's Often Deceptive Plot: Judith feels betrayed by Alan and Charlie after discovering that a surfer, who frequently ...
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8
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
Alan deceives Charlie into participating with him and Judith in guiding Jake and his friends for the school's yearly music performance.
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9
Phase One, Complete
Title: Phase One, Complete Plot: Charlie believes that a woman he spent the night with is interested in deepening their connection, especially afte...
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10
Merry Thanksgiving
Feeling the risk of losing someone dear to him, Charlie decides to host a Thanksgiving dinner to prove that he embodies the qualities of a family man ...
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11
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Alan is taken aback when he notices Judith's stunning makeover and her new boyfriend. Inspired by her transformation, he enlists Charlie's help to rev...
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12
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Berta's granddaughter comes over to spend the day at Charlie's place, and everything seems fine—until he discovers that she's a stunning and headstr...
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13
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Charlie takes care of a sick Alan, determined to get him back on his feet so they can enjoy a double date with two sisters. Charlie has his eye on one...
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14
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Charlie's financial advisor breaks the news to the easygoing jingle composer that he’s depleting his funds quicker than his royalty payments arrive....
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15
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Title: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick Plot: Charlie offers a place to stay for a quirky and enigmatic woman who is facing some family issues. As sh...
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16
That Was Saliva, Alan
Charlie is taken aback when Frankie, the enigmatic woman staying with the Harper family, develops feelings for Alan instead of him.
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17
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Charlie can't shake his irritation about Alan's decision to name their cousin as Jake's guardian in the event of both parents' untimely deaths. His fe...
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18
An Old Flame with a New Wick
Charlie is taken aback when he discovers that his former girlfriend has transitioned and is now living as a man.
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19
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Title: Memories of the Coatroom, Faces Unfamiliar Plot: At Jake's 11th birthday celebration, Judith's sly sister creates chaos by flirting with Alan....
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20
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Title: Guess What? I Can Pee Outside After Dark Plot: Jake's gloomy demeanor confounds his family, leading Alan and Judith to seek help from a child ...
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21
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Charlie finds himself in a complicated situation when he starts dating Alan's divorce attorney. If things were to go south, her displeasure could pote...
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22
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Title: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet Plot: Charlie stumbles upon the fact that Alan has been sleepwalking, and he suspects it might stem from his brothe...
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23
Just Like Buffalo
Title: Just Like Buffalo Plot: After Jake echoes one of Charlie's inappropriate comments during Judith's support group meeting, the women rally toget...
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24
Can You Feel My Finger?
After a night of fun, Charlie faces a pregnancy scare tied to one of his casual flings. This unexpected situation prompts him to consider a permanent ...
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1
Back Off, Mary Poppins
Alan discovers that Charlie is part of a prestigious men's club, and he pleads with his brother to allow him to become a member as well.
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2
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Title: Savor Those Garlic Bites Plot: Judith begins a relationship with Jake's pediatrician, leaving Alan feeling distressed. However, Charlie brings...
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3
A Bag Full of Jawea
Charlie attempts to rescue Jake from being suspended for flipping off his teacher, Missi Pyle, by trying to charm her. However, each of his efforts en...
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4
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Jake can’t stop raving about his mother’s new boyfriend, Dr. Melnick, which is starting to get on Alan’s nerves. Meanwhile, Evelyn takes Charlie...
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5
Bad News from the Clinic?
Title: Tough Competition at the Clinic? Plot: Charlie finds himself in over his head when he develops feelings for a woman who excels at keeping him ...
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6
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Title: The Cost of Dental Care Is Constant Awareness Plot: Alan insists he never stole a toy during his childhood and worries about his hidden flaws....
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7
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Title: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana Plot: Charlie and Alan enlist Berta's sister to provide catering for a party that their mother has guil...
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8
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
While shopping at the grocery store, Alan encounters a woman named Nancy who seems to check all his boxes, leaving Charlie to look after Jake. After s...
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9
Yes, Monsignor
Charlie escapes his unappealing date by heading to a coffee shop, where he unexpectedly runs into his ex-girlfriend, Lisa. She reveals that she has di...
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10
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Charlie seeks Jake’s endorsement for a theme song he’s been commissioned to write for a TV series inspired by a comic book that Jake loves. Meanwh...
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11
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
After an unexpected rejection at a bar, Charlie discovers that a website has been launched to reveal his lifestyle choices. Determined to track down t...
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12
A Lungful of Alan
Title: A Breath of Envy Plot: Alan finds himself envious of Charlie when an attractive former classmate shows a surprising interest in Charlie instea...
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13
Zejdz Zmoich Wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
When an earthquake strikes, Judith's home sustains damage, leaving her in need of temporary shelter. Alan takes it upon himself to invite her to stay ...
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14
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Title: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut Plot: After their mother criticizes Alan's parenting of Jake, the brothers decide to distance themselves by...
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15
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Alan becomes anxious about an upcoming medical procedure, and to help distract him, Charlie proposes a trip to Las Vegas.
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16
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Judith's choice to go on vacation leaves the brothers in charge of Jake for the week. Alan struggles with the responsibility and even misses picking J...
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17
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
When Charlie starts experiencing back pain, Alan takes him to the hospital for a check-up. While they’re there, Charlie can't resist flirting with t...
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18
It Was Mame, Mom
Title: It Was Mame, Mom Plot: Charlie receives an invitation to a gathering thrown by Eric, a flamboyant advertising executive. To navigate the situa...
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19
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
After Charlie brings Alan to an optometrist, they find themselves at a café where they unexpectedly run into Charlie's ex, Sherri. During their time ...
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20
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Title: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey Plot: Rose steps in to assist the brothers in navigating their emotions as Charlie and Alan unleash their pe...
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21
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Evelyn discovers in the obituaries that her second husband, Harry, has passed away. The family gathers for the funeral, where Jake eagerly anticipates...
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22
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Evelyn surprises Alan with a flashy new sports car, prompting Charlie to joke that his brother has made a deal with the Devil. The following day, Evel...
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23
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Evelyn insists that Jake stay over at her house after discovering he spent Spring Break with Judith's parents. Alan and Charlie aren't thrilled about ...
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24
Does This Smell Funny to You?
Charlie accidentally spends the night with an older man's glamorous wife, completely unaware of her marital status. Meanwhile, Jake finds himself in a...
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1
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Title: A Bangkok Getaway with Two Olympic Gymnasts Plot: Following an accidental tumble from the roof, Alan turns to Charlie for assistance in caring...
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2
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Jake faces suspension from school for sketching an inappropriate drawing of a classmate with exaggerated features. At the same time, Charlie is enlist...
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3
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Title: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark Plot: Alan's been on a dating spree, but Charlie discovers that his latest romance is with Judith, his former wif...
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4
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Title: The Unwanted Houseguest Plot: When Berta moves in with Charlie and Alan, her presence stirs up conflict between the two brothers. Tension esca...
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5
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Title: We Named Him Mr. Pinky Plot: Charlie discovers that his struggles with commitment stem from deep-seated issues with his mother. Meanwhile, Jak...
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6
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Despite Alan's cautions, Charlie persists in his relationship with Isabella, until she makes a shocking threat to cast a curse on his manhood.
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7
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Title: Sweet Dreams, Puddin' Pop Plot: Charlie stirs awake beside Rose the day after her birthday celebration. Tensions rise when her furious father ...
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8
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Title: The Dance Deception Plot: Charlie cleverly convinces Jake to sign up for ballet classes, all to gain proximity to the instructor he admires. A...
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9
Madame and Her Special Friend
Charlie faces a challenge when one of his older neighbors makes a play for Alan's affection. Meanwhile, he’s also determined to prevent Jake from se...
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10
Something Salted and Twisted
Title: A Dash of Approval Plot: Charlie takes it upon himself to assist Alan in overcoming his compulsive need for validation from the women around h...
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11
Santa's Village of the Damned
Alan begins a romance with a woman who has a Martha Stewart mentality. It isn’t long before she takes control of their home, consumed by a need for ...
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12
That Special Tug
Title: The Unique Pull Plot: Charlie begins attending therapy sessions to better understand and manage Alan's emotional vulnerabilities. As he navi...
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13
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Charlie discovers he’s in a relationship that transcends physical intimacy.
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14
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Charlie plans a special romantic evening with Mia, eager to take their relationship to the next level. Meanwhile, Alan starts dating Charlie's latest ...
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15
My Tongue is Meat
Charlie struggles to match Mia’s commitment to a healthy lifestyle, leading him to secretly indulge in beers, cigars, and burgers without her knowle...
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16
Ergo, the Booty Call
Alan struggles with the decision of whether to invite his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday celebration, where she would meet both his mother and ...
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17
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Charlie receives a nomination for an advertising award, but he opts to boycott the event since his rival consistently takes home the trophy. Meanwhile...
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18
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Alan finds himself in a tough spot financially after beginning to cover his girlfriend's expenses, prompting Charlie to encourage him to end the relat...
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19
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Charlie is taken aback to discover that Kandi has been staying with them for the past three weeks. Meanwhile, Alan struggles to assist Kandi in making...
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20
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Title: Forever a Bridesmaid, Never a Donkey Plot: Alan makes a desperate attempt to rekindle his romance with Kandi. At the same time, Charlie emba...
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21
And the Plot Moistens
Title: And the Plot Thickens Plot: Jake’s teacher arranges a conference with Alan and Judith to address Jake's disengagement in class. Meanwhile, A...
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22
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
A girl from Jake's school asks him to attend his very first co-ed party. To help him prepare, Charlie and Alan step in with their tips and tricks. As ...
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23
Arguments for the Quickie
Mia returns to town with her dance group and asks Charlie to attend her show. Initially, he opts out and attempts to persuade Alan that he's moved on ...
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24
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Charlie and Mia embark on planning their wedding, but chaos ensues when their families come together. Tensions arise, leading to misunderstandings and...
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1
Working for Caligula
After Alan moves out, Charlie embraces his single life once again. Meanwhile, Alan struggles to cope with the aftermath of his divorce from Kandi, lea...
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2
Who's Vod Kanockers?
Title: Who's Vod Kanockers? Plot: Charlie confesses to Alan that he called off his wedding to Mia due to her demand that Alan and Jake vacate the hou...
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3
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Title: The Ocean's Relentless Call Plot: Charlie attempts to catch some waves to win over Dottie, an enchanting woman he recently encountered. Howeve...
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4
A Pot Smoking Monkey
Alan seeks the assistance of his ex-wife's attorney in an effort to secure custody of the dog he and Kandi used to share.
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5
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Title: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility Plot: Alan is thrilled at the idea of Judith tying the knot again, which would free him from the burden of al...
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6
Apologies for the Frivolity
Title: Regrets of the Lighthearted Plot: Charlie finds himself in a relationship with a woman who mirrors his mother's traits and lifestyle. As he na...
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7
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Berta's daughter, Naomi, is expecting a baby, and Berta insists on bringing Charlie along to confront the father of the child. Meanwhile, Alan unexpec...
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8
Release the Dogs
Title: Unleash the Hounds Plot: Alan struggles with sleepless nights, plagued by insomnia. During a session with his therapist, he uncovers the roo...
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9
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Charlie finally reaches his limit with Alan's constant freeloading during their double date, leading to a heated moment between the brothers. Meanwhil...
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10
Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Title: Kissing Abraham Lincoln Plot: Concerned that Charlie might choose one of them over the other, Berta and Lydia engage in a fierce rivalry for h...
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11
Walnuts and Demerol
Title: Walnuts and Demerol Plot: Charlie’s aspirations for a dreamy Christmas Eve with his date are thwarted by the interference of his loved ones....
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12
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Title: Sheep Shearing Secrets in Montana Plot: Berta stumbles upon the fact that her daughter Naomi has been seeing Alan, much to her surprise. As sh...
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13
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Title: No Need to Stress, Speed Racer Plot: Jake reveals that he overheard his mother with her fiancé, Herb, in an intimate moment, which triggers a...
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14
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Charlie introduces Alan to their new neighbor, hoping to spark a connection. However, he soon finds himself feeling envious as he sees the two of them...
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15
My Damn Stalker
Rose is relocating to London, and Charlie is taken aback by how he feels about it. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself fabricating a story to impress a woma...
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16
Young People Have Phlegm Too
Charlie’s attractive, younger girlfriend brings him to a trendy new club. She encourages Alan to come along to meet one of her friends, but both men...
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17
I Merely Slept with a Commie
Evelyn opens up to Alan and Charlie about her disappointment over the lack of mourners at her friend's funeral. In response, the guys express their co...
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18
It Never Rains in Hooterville
Alan makes an effort to connect with Jake as he comes to terms with the fact that his son’s childhood is nearing its end. Meanwhile, Kandi sets her ...
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19
Smooth as a Ken Doll
Title: As Polished as a Ken Doll Plot: Charlie finds himself attracted to Myra, the clever and sharp-tongued sister of Judith's soon-to-be husband, H...
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20
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Alan eagerly anticipates Judith's upcoming wedding, while Charlie and Myra's relationship deepens as they enjoy their time together.
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21
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Alan and Charlie take a closer look at their sexual identities when Alan becomes friends with Greg, a gay man. At the same time, Jake finds himself sm...
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22
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Jake strikes it rich when Charlie brings him to the racetrack. At the same time, Alan faces a frustrating experience at the DMV, struggling to navigat...
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23
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
Title: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin' Plot: Charlie is taken aback when the repairman fixing his home unexpectedly captures Chloe's attention,...
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24
Prostitutes and Gelato
Evelyn’s partner, Teddy, offers Alan and Charlie a chance to join him on his private jet for a trip to Las Vegas. During the getaway, the guys find ...
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1
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
As Jake prepares to transition to Junior High, Alan and Charlie decide to take him on a school shopping trip. However, things quickly spiral out of co...
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2
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Title: Media Room Slash Dungeon Plot: Following a night out with his mother, Charlie starts to exhibit unusual behavior, leaving his friends concerne...
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3
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Title: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo Plot: Alan persuades Charlie to pursue more esteemed relationships, arranging a date with a prominent judge. They emba...
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4
City of Great Racks
As Charlie and Linda grow more intimate in their relationship, Charlie finds it difficult to concentrate. No matter where he looks, he keeps catching ...
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5
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Charlie is on a mission to entertain his girlfriend’s energetic 4-year-old, and he enlists Alan to help. As he tries different activities to keep th...
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6
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Title: A Quest for Daddy's Toenail Plot: Charlie's girlfriend feels a bit shy about being seen with him in public. At the same time, Jake takes the o...
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7
Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Following a heated argument between Alan and Charlie over Alan's responsibilities at home, Alan decides to take action. He gathers Jake's belongings a...
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8
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Title: Is There a Mrs. Waffles? Plot: Charlie composes a catchy tune for kids and gains popularity as Charlie Waffles. The children adore his music, ...
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9
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Title: Shoes, Hats, and Pickle Jar Lids Plot: Charlie struggles with his growing feelings for Teddy's daughter, trying to keep his emotions in chec...
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10
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Alan discovers that Charlie took his girlfriend during their high school days and concocts a scheme to get revenge on him. Despite the time that has p...
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11
Meander to Your Dander
Alan contemplates ending his relationship with a woman, and Charlie steps in to share his advice on the matter.
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12
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Rose comes back from England and takes on the role of caregiver for a sick Charlie, but her approach is rather unconventional.
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13
The Soil Is Moist
Alan uncovers unexpected details about Judith's romantic life after he agrees to go out with one of her friends.
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14
Winky-Dink Time
Title: Winky-Dink Time Plot: Charlie sets up a double date with his friend Jake and decides to arrange a rendezvous for Alan with an escort. As the e...
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15
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Alan believes that Charlie struggles to rein in his philandering tendencies.
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16
Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Title: Check Me Out, Mom, I'm Gorgeous Plot: Alan organizes a wedding for Evelyn and Teddy, focusing on every detail. Meanwhile, Charlie seeks ways t...
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17
Fish in a Drawer
CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.
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18
If My Hole Could Talk
Charlie finds himself drawn to an older author known for her self-help books. Meanwhile, Alan and Jake face off as they work on a school project, lead...
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19
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Title: Anticipating the Perfect Snapper Plot: Charlie encounters Angie’s future daughter-in-law and quickly realizes that this isn’t their first ...
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1
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
In the premiere of the sixth season, Charlie unexpectedly encounters an old flame along with a young boy who looks remarkably like him.
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2
Pie Hole, Herb
Title: Pie Hole, Herb Plot: Charlie takes out a loan from Alan, and when the repayment day arrives, Alan pays a visit to collect. Once again, he disc...
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3
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Alan, Jake, and Charlie each embark on new adventures in their lives. Alan dives into the dating scene, juggling multiple relationships at once. Meanw...
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4
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Alan has a bad feeling about the situation when Charlie begins to date his receptionist.
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5
A Jock Strap in Hell
Charlie attempts to assist Jake's ex-teacher, who turned to stripping after their relationship. However, the situation spirals out of control when she...
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6
It's Always Nazi Week
After Judith tosses Herb out of her life, Alan seeks comfort and support. Meanwhile, Jake finds himself reluctantly staying with Charlie for three mon...
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7
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Title: The Ultimate Escape Plot: Alan seeks to break free from Judith's influence while Charlie and Herb venture out to meet women. Their night takes...
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8
Pinocchio's Mouth
Title: Pinocchio's Mouth Plot: When Charlie's new girlfriend Chelsea invites him to stay over at her home, he finds himself stepping far beyond his...
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9
The Mooch at the Boo
Title: The Mooch at the Boo Plot: Charlie is thrown into an awkward situation when Jake runs off with the daughter of a retired NFL star. Meanwhile, ...
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10
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Evelyn proposes to cover Jake's college tuition, leaving Alan feeling aimless without a strong motivation to continue working. Meanwhile, Jake uncover...
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11
The Devil's Lube
Title: The Devil's Lube Plot: After the sudden death of a longtime friend, Charlie starts to reflect on his reckless lifestyle and realizes that he m...
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12
Thank God for Scoliosis
Charlie and Jake compete for the love of a waitress, each trying to win her over with their charm. Meanwhile, Alan grapples with the undeniable chemis...
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13
I Think You Offended Don
Judith is expecting a baby girl, and Alan firmly believes he is the father.
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14
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Convinced that Alan's family takes him for granted, Melissa suggests that he come live with her and her mom.
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15
I'd Like to Start with the Cat
Charlie ends up in couples counseling.
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16
She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
Charlie finds himself in a tricky situation when he needs to get a half-naked woman out of his bedroom just in time for Chelsea’s arrival.
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17
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Title: The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? Plot: When Charlie confesses his feelings for Chelsea, her unexpected response leaves him speechless.
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18
My Son's Enormous Head
Chelsea's sickness presents Charlie with an opportunity to show that he can look after her, yet he also feels a strong desire to escape from the reali...
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19
The Two Finger Rule
Title: The Two Finger Rule Plot: When Chelsea stumbles upon a revealing photo of another woman on Charlie's phone, he becomes upset. To cope with his...
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20
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Charlie is anxious to prevent Chelsea and Evelyn from becoming friends after their initial encounter.
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21
Above Exalted Cyclops
Alan approaches Chelsea, requesting her help to set up a blind date with someone he has in mind, completely oblivious to the fact that his date is Che...
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22
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Title: Sir Lancelot's Litter Box Plot: Charlie grapples with the bittersweet change of losing his bachelor lifestyle as he begrudgingly makes room fo...
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23
Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Alan and Chelsea form a close friendship, and Charlie sees an opportunity to exploit their bond.
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24
Baseball Was Better with Steroids
Title: Baseball Was Better with Steroids Plot: Charlie begins to have doubts about his relationship with Chelsea upon learning that Mia has returned ...
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1
818-jklpuzo
Title: 818-jklpuzo Plot: Charlie faces a challenging crossroads that will determine his future as he contemplates which woman he wishes to share his ...
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2
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Chelsea persuades Charlie to allow Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, to move in, and soon the two women begin to dominate Charlie's home.
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3
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Title: Mmm, Fish. Yum. Plot: Alan finds himself tasked with caring for Judith's newborn while also attending to his ex-mother-in-law. At the same tim...
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4
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Alan begins his job with Evelyn while Charlie focuses on mending the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.
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5
For the Sake of the Child
Title: In the Name of the Child Plot: After facing humiliation in public at the hands of Charlie and Alan, Jake is determined to escape their clutche...
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6
Give Me Your Thumb
When Alan suggests to Chelsea that she consider breast-reduction surgery, Charlie is far from pleased and promptly kicks him out. However, staying wit...
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7
Untainted by Filth
Alan and Charlie are taken aback when they find themselves waking up next to an unfamiliar woman, leading them to piece together the events of the pre...
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8
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
After dealing with a painful breakup, Chelsea decides to invite her stunning college roommate to stay at her place.
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9
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
As Alan battles to find a solution for his hair loss, Charlie faces his own dilemma: he’s unable to meet Chelsea’s needs in their relationship.
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10
That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Chelsea urges Charlie to sign up for dance lessons in preparation for their wedding. However, Charlie soon discovers that Chelsea has been deceptive a...
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11
Warning, It's Dirty
Title: Caution: It's Hazardous Plot: With Celeste off for the Christmas holiday, Jake finds himself under Charlie’s mentorship in the questionable ...
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12
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Title: Love Songs, Desserts, and Secrets Plot: Jake is determined to win Celeste's heart again by composing heartfelt love songs for her. Meanwhile, ...
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13
Yay, No Polyps!
Title: Hooray for Clear Results! Plot: Charlie decides to schedule a colonoscopy as an excuse to skip a visit with Chelsea's family. To his surprise,...
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14
Crude and Uncalled For (1)
Charlie starts to wonder if Chelsea has feelings for the lawyer who’s been assigned to Alan following his arrest for a bar fight.
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15
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)
Title: Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2) Plot: Chelsea and Charlie’s romance faces turmoil as Charlie’s insecurities start to drive a wedge between ...
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16
Tinkle Like a Princess
Charlie heads to Las Vegas for a wild adventure and comes back unexpectedly married, but his new bride isn’t Chelsea.
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17
I Found Your Moustache
Title: I Found Your Moustache Plot: After ending their relationship, Charlie and Chelsea unexpectedly reconnect for a spontaneous night together. Wha...
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18
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Charlie is set to meet up again with Chelsea's closest friend, while Alan finds himself having an unforeseen impact on a new female patient he encount...
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19
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Alan finds himself conflicted as he navigates the questionable influence of Jake's new buddy while also being distracted by the allure of Jake's attra...
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20
I Called Him Magoo
Alan plans a romantic evening at a hotel with his new girlfriend, hoping to create a special night. Meanwhile, Charlie has his own unique strategy to ...
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21
Gumby with a Pokey
Title: Ghostly Girlfriends Plot: While Alan and Jake embark on a road trip, Charlie finds himself haunted by the specters of his former girlfriends. ...
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22
This Is Not Gonna End Well
Charlie is annoyed that Alan intends to go to Chelsea's birthday celebration, and to make matters worse, he has to endure being driven around by Jake ...
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1
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Title: Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud Plot: After discovering that Alan is romantically involved with Eldridge's mother, Jake decides to leave and m...
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2
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Title: A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer Plot: Charlie is determined to persuade Alan to take Lyndsey up on her invitation to live with her. He’s r...
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3
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Title: A Cactus Stuffed with Pudding Plot: Following his relocation to Lyndsey's place, Alan carries on his secret meetings with Melissa at Charlie's...
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4
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
After their house is destroyed in a fire, Lyndsey and Eldridge find refuge in Charlie's home.
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5
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Alan takes on Charlie's identity for a night out, enjoying the thrill of living his brother's life. Meanwhile, Charlie decides to undergo cosmetic sur...
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6
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Charlie struggles to navigate the complexities of dating a woman who is a bit older than him.
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7
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Title: The Notorious Rose Chronicles Plot: Charlie's partner reaches her breaking point with his obsessive stalker, Rose. As tensions rise, she confr...
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8
Springtime on a Stick
Title: Springtime on a Stick Plot: Charlie and Alan decide to play matchmakers and set up Evelyn with Russell, the local pharmacist. As they scheme...
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9
A Good Time in Central Africa
Berta's brief absence leads Charlie to develop feelings for her temporary replacement. At the same time, Alan becomes convinced that Lyndsey's former ...
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10
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
After Courtney, Charlie's ex-girlfriend, is let out of prison, he decides to spoil her with a taste of luxury, even though she had previously deceived...
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11
Dead from the Waist Down
Alan goes out of his way to ensure he can give Lyndsey a wonderful birthday gift.
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12
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Title: Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy’s Gone Plot: Reeling from his split with Courtney (Jenny McCarthy), Charlie seeks solace in a session with ...
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13
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Alan starts to feel uneasy when he notices Lyndsey getting close to Charlie.
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14
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Convinced that Rose is married, Charlie becomes fixated on her and begins to stalk her. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge decide to film themselves attempt...
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15
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
As Charlie and Rose continue their secret romance, Alan's chiropractic practice unexpectedly spirals into a Ponzi scheme.
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16
That Darn Priest
Rose and Alan uncover hidden truths about one another. At the same time, Charlie is eager to find a moment alone with Rose, feeling increasingly anxio...
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1
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Alan and Jake encounter Walden Schmidt, a wealthy billionaire who is struggling with a recent heartbreak.
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2
People Who Love Peepholes
Walden deals with his ex-wife, Bridget.
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3
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Alan helps Walden get ready for his date with Bridget, offering tips and support. Meanwhile, inspired by Walden's carefree lifestyle, Jake makes the b...
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4
Nine Magic Fingers
Walden sets out on a quest to find his perfect match, while Alan finds himself presented with a chance to make amends with Lyndsey.
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5
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Alan struggles to come to terms with Lyndsey's questionable history in the film industry. In an effort to lift his spirits, Walden decides to host a p...
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6
The Squat and the Hover
Title: The Squat and the Hover Plot: Walden is taken aback when Bridget serves him divorce papers, plunging him into despair. However, his mood shi...
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7
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Jake is infatuated with his chemistry tutor, unaware that she has feelings for Walden. At the same time, Alan becomes consumed by the journal his brot...
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8
Thank You for the Intercourse
Title: Grateful for the Connection Plot: As Walden starts to transform the beach house with a new design, Alan finds himself overwhelmed with feeling...
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9
Frodo's Headshots
After being discharged from the hospital, Alan faces a multitude of obstacles that push his coping skills to the limit.
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10
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Title: A Tank of Shattered Reflections Plot: Walden finds himself attracted to a charming British woman, yet both are hesitant about diving back into...
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11
What a Lovely Landing Strip
Walden is eager to win over his new romantic interest when Bridget suddenly comes back into his life.
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12
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
When Walden's mother comes to visit, Alan finds himself instantly attracted to her. However, things take a turn when she uncovers a hidden truth about...
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13
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Title: Round and Round We Go Plot: Walden finds himself facing a power struggle as his ex-wife and mother scheme to seize control of his business. De...
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14
A Possum on Chemo
Title: A Possum on Chemo Plot: Zoey is determined to persuade Walden to get a haircut and shave off his scruffy beard. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey re...
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15
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Walden attempts to help Zooey relax by offering her some of Berta's famous brownies.
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16
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Title: Love, Limericks, and Turmoil Plot: As a fierce storm rages outside, Walden, Alan, Zoey, and Lyndsey find themselves stuck together in the hous...
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17
Not in My Mouth!
Title: Not in My Mouth! Plot: After a harrowing brush with mortality, Walden and Zoey find their romance strained. As they navigate the aftermath, Al...
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18
The War Against Gingivitis
Walden's former business partner arrives at the beach house with hopes of reconciling their past differences.
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19
Palmdale, Ech
Title: Palmdale, Ech Plot: Alan and Lyndsey decide it's time for their mothers to meet. Meanwhile, Jake and Eldridge hitch a ride with Walden as they...
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20
Grandma's Pie
Walden informs Zoey that he’s partnering with his ex-wife in a new business venture. Meanwhile, Alan and Lyndsey struggle to come to terms with thei...
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21
Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Walden faces challenges in his relationship when Zoey and her daughter move in with him. At the same time, Alan finds himself in over his head after m...
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22
Why We Gave Up Women
After Alan experiences a minor heart attack, he receives an unexpected visit from Charlie's ghost.
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23
The Straw in My Donut Hole
Title: The Straw in My Donut Hole Plot: After his discharge from the hospital, Alan is welcomed back with open arms and overwhelming affection. Howev...
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24
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Jake finds himself facing intense pressure as he contemplates his future choices.
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1
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Walden plans a big surprise for Zoey's birthday.
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2
A Big Bag of Dog
Title: A Heavy Load of Canine Plot: After a tough split, Zoey and Walden find their relationship crumbling, leaving Walden in emotional turmoil. ...
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3
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Title: Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt Plot: Alan and Lyndsey choose to add some excitement to their intimate life. As they explore new ways to c...
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4
You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Walden begins to confront the reality of aging when a friend's daughter arrives in town.
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5
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Title: That's Not the Name They Use in Amsterdam Plot: Ignoring Alan's cautions, Walden embarks on a relationship with Rose, diving into the complexi...
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6
Ferrets, Attack!
Walden must choose between Zoey and Rose.
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7
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Feeling overwhelmed by the complexities of a conventional relationship, Walden decides to hire an actress to play the role of his girlfriend. Meanwhil...
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8
Something My Gynecologist Said
Alan hesitates to fully commit to Lyndsey, feeling uncertain about their relationship. However, he finds unexpected motivation from an unlikely source...
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9
I Scream When I Pee
Alan's well-known ex-wife, Kandi, expresses a desire to mend their relationship. Meanwhile, Walden notices that Berta isn't keen on celebrating her bi...
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10
One Nut Johnson
Title: One Nut Johnson Plot: Alan assists Walden in crafting a fresh persona to steer clear of women who are solely attracted to his wealth. As Walde...
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11
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Walden struggles to balance his dual identities, finding it increasingly challenging to maintain both lives. Meanwhile, Alan faces a lonely Christmas,...
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12
Welcome to Alancrest
Title: Welcome to Alancrest Plot: Alan decides to put Walden's funds into Kate's clothing brand, hoping for a profitable return. However, as he juggl...
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13
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Title: Snag a Feather and Join the Queue Plot: Alan and Walden attend Kate's fashion event in New York, where Walden plans to disclose his true ident...
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14
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Alan encounters some relationship issues after he decides not to give Lyndsey a key to the beach house. Meanwhile, Walden, Alan, Herb, and Billy gathe...
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15
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Jake introduces his 36-year-old girlfriend to the family, which raises some red flags for Alan. Meanwhile, Walden finds himself trying to conceal a se...
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16
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Title: Perks of a Chubby, Soaring Infant Plot: Feeling down on Valentine's Day, Walden makes an effort to persuade Kate to rekindle their romance; me...
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17
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Title: Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries Plot: When Walden unexpectedly encounters his former girlfriend, the two begin discussing the possibility ...
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18
The 9:04 from Pemberton
Title: The 9:04 from Pemberton Plot: Following a heated argument with Walden, Alan makes the decision to relocate and stay with Herb. As he adjusts t...
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19
Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
Alan and Walden throw a wild party in an effort to lift Herb's spirits. However, they end up going a bit overboard with the festivities, leading to so...
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20
Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Walden and Alan find themselves in a tricky situation when Jake has an affair with his girlfriend's 18-year-old daughter, complicating matters with Ja...
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21
Another Night with Neil Diamond
Title: A Tough Evening for Alan Plot: Alan struggles to come to terms with his breakup with Lyndsey. As he reflects on their relationship, the emotio...
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22
My Bodacious Vidalia
Title: My Bodacious Vidalia Plot: Inspired by Walden's support, Alan chooses to revamp his appearance. However, things take a complicated turn when h...
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23
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Title: Cows, Get Ready to Be Tipped Plot: Walden finds himself in a relationship with a charming 22-year-old woman (Hilary Duff), but his attention s...
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1
Nangnangnangnang
Charlie’s daughter, who is 25 years old, comes to the beach house with the desire to connect with her family better.
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2
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Jenny relocates to the home of Evelyn and her affluent partner, Marty (Carl Reiner).
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3
This Unblessed Biscuit
After Berta hurts her back on the job, Walden and Alan start to consider whether it might be time for her to hang up her apron. However, when they bri...
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4
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Title: Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank Plot: Alan and Lyndsey's secret affair is put at risk when Lyndsey's friend, the eager Stephanie (Jennifer Aspen...
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5
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Alan investigates the leverage Lyndsey's boyfriend holds over him, seeking to understand the dynamics at play. Meanwhile, Walden steps in to support J...
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6
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
After discovering that Walden has a connection to Lynda Carter, Alan eagerly persuades him to arrange a date with her. Despite his reservations, Walde...
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7
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Title: A Zombie Love Dilemma Plot: Walden and Alan are excited about their dates with two perfect women, but their plans take an unexpected turn wh...
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8
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Title: Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. Plot: Alan and Lyndsey's secret relationship creates a precarious situation for Walden, leading him to reluc...
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9
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Title: Top-Tier Accident Lawyer Plot: Walden finds himself on a date with a model who has a knack for getting into mishaps. Meanwhile, Alan's eveni...
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10
On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Jake surprises Alan with a unique Japanese treat, and soon the house is filled with some rather dubious holiday tunes.
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11
Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Walden teams up with his stunning ex-employee on an exciting new venture. At the same time, Alan encourages Jenny to be more honest with her girlfrien...
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12
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Lyndsey's boyfriend arranges a date for Alan, while Walden is eager to assist Nicole with her project, hoping it will free up her schedule for some ti...
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13
Bite Me, Supreme Court
Title: Bite Me, Supreme Court Plot: Marty Pepper (Carl Reiner) decides to take a big step and asks Evelyn to marry him. Meanwhile, Alan and Walden ge...
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14
Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
Alan discovers that Lyndsey ended her relationship with Larry without informing him. Meanwhile, Walden embarks on a quest to demonstrate his masculini...
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15
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Title: Fare Dilemmas and Unwanted Remedies Plot: Alan confronts Lyndsey, urging her to decide between him and Larry. Meanwhile, Jenny feels anxious a...
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16
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Title: Eliminating Alan Harper Plot: Walden becomes suspicious that his girlfriend may be unfaithful, leading to a whirlwind of insecurity. Meanwhi...
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17
Welcome Home, Jake
Lyndsey discovers that Alan is seeing Gretchen, which surprises her. Meanwhile, Walden struggles to have a candid conversation with Barry about the ne...
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18
West Side Story
Walden receives an invitation to the grand opening of his ex-girlfriend's boutique. At the same time, Gretchen is eager to spend additional time at Al...
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19
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
After rekindling his relationship with Kate, Walden feels certain she's his perfect match. However, everything changes when he encounters a captivatin...
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20
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Title: Lotta Delis in Little Armenia Plot: Alan stumbles upon a lucrative business venture, sparking his entrepreneurial spirit. Meanwhile, Walden ...
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21
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Title: Call 1-900-Mix-A-Lot Plot: Gretchen, Alan's girlfriend, urges him to reveal his real self to Larry. At the same time, Walden takes a trip with...
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22
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
After disclosing his true identity to Larry, Alan finds himself grappling with the repercussions of his actions.
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1
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
Following a frightening health incident on Halloween, Walden realizes that it's time for him to make significant changes in his life.
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2
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Title: A Stylish Lounge in Ibiza Plot: Alan begins to wobble in his decision to tie the knot when he is presented with a request to sign a prenuptial...
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3
Glamping in a Yurt
Alan and Walden are set to meet with an adoption social worker, and they need to present themselves as a devoted couple to make a good impression. Mea...
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4
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
A woman who is expecting a baby contemplates the possibility of letting Walden and Alan adopt her child.
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5
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Walden takes on the role of a foster parent for a 6-year-old boy, but he begins to feel anxious when their connection doesn’t develop as he had envi...
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6
Alan Shot a Little Girl
Alan decides to bend Walden's rules after discovering that Louis admires him, and he’s eager to maintain that impression.
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7
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Title: Romance in the Playroom Plot: Alan and Walden form a friendship with three mothers at a children's gym, but the dynamics shift when Walden fin...
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8
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Alan and Walden make an effort to persuade Louis that Santa Claus truly exists.
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9
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Walden realizes that being close to women is much harder with his foster son, Louis, around. Meanwhile, Herb approaches Alan with a request to take Ly...
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10
Here I Come, Pants!
Alan steps in to assist Walden in retaining custody of Louis when the social worker uncovers that he and Walden aren't actually a same-sex couple.
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11
For Whom the Booty Calls
Title: For Whom the Booty Calls Plot: Seeking a break from Alan, Walden decides to participate in a support group for adoptive fathers. He quickly di...
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12
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
After Alan ends his relationship with their social worker to rekindle his romance with Lyndsey, Walden becomes anxious that this decision could jeopar...
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13
Boompa Loved His Hookers
Walden worries that ending his relationship with Ms. McMartin could put his chances of adopting Louis in jeopardy. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself uncer...
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14
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Title: Don't Give a Monkey a Gun Plot: Following the finalization of their divorce, Walden presents Alan with a chance to select any gift he desires....
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15
Of Course He's Dead (1)
Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?
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16
Of Course He's Dead (2)
Charlie Harper is alive. Or is he?
